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The country is undergoing major social transition after 20 years of economic stagnation. A fluent French speaker with two university degrees, she avoids romantic attachments so she can focus on work. Some of Aoyama's clients are among the small minority who have taken social withdrawal to a pathological extreme. Satoru Kishino, 31, belongs to a large tribe of men under 40 who are engaging in a kind of passive rebellion against traditional Japanese masculinity. They are rejecting the pursuit of both career and romantic success. Emotional entanglements are too complicated," he says.

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They flinch if I touch them," she says. These factors include the lack of a religious authority that ordains marriage and family, the country's precarious earthquake-prone ecology that engenders feelings of futility, and the high cost of living and raising children. It doesn't say whether she was invited there specifically for that purpose, but the message to her clients is clear: Of the estimated 13 million unmarried people in Japan who currently live with their parents, around three million are over the age of Tomita has a job she loves in the human resources department of a French-owned bank. They don't seem concerned. I buy stylish clothes and go on nice holidays. Most are still too young to have concrete future plans, but projections for them are already laid out. She berates the government for "making it hard for single people to live however they want" and for "whipping up fear about the falling birth rate". Prime minister Shinzo Abe recently trumpeted long-overdue plans to increase female economic participation by improving conditions and daycare, but Tomita says things would have to improve "dramatically" to compel her to become a working wife and mother. Social attitudes don't help. Its population of million , which has been shrinking for the past decade, is projected to plunge a further one-third by Japan's somethings are the age group to watch. The number of single people has reached a record high. But he also believes the rest of the world is not far behind. And that's from a woman who knows a bit about whipping. Yet conservative attitudes in the home and workplace persist. There are no figures for same-sex relationships. Aoyama believes the country is experiencing "a flight from human intimacy" — and it's partly the government's fault. Millions aren't even dating, and increasing numbers can't be bothered with sex. This was also the year, as the number of elderly people shoots up, that adult incontinence pants outsold baby nappies in Japan for the first time. Japanese-American author Roland Kelts , who writes about Japan's youth, says it's inevitable that the future of Japanese relationships will be largely technology driven. Whipping up fear in people, she says, doesn't help anyone. Back then, about 15 years ago, she was Queen Ai, or Queen Love, and she did "all the usual things" like tying people up and dripping hot wax on their nipples. The country is undergoing major social transition after 20 years of economic stagnation. Japan's cities are full of conveniences made for one, from stand-up noodle bars to capsule hotels to the ubiquitous konbini convenience stores , with their shelves of individually wrapped rice balls and disposable underwear. This is true for both sexes, but it's especially true for women.

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