She has helped people improve their emotional well being, enhance their ability to engage in interpersonal relationships, and take control of their lives. The key is to make it fun and make sure the evening culminates with having sex. You're a nursing mom, let's say. And oftentimes, if they can't articulate that they'll act out by wanting, or even demanding, sex. For howdini, I'm Lisa Birnbach. If you are nursing or if you're staying home and your husband's going to work, there's so much Mommy and me time that the husbands can tend to feel a little bit left out and neglected. Without a doubt, and I think once you get into it and once you've set some time to do it, it will seem like less work, and it will seem more natural and spontaneous to you. It's true; we all crave sleep. To have this kind of fun, you have to do some work.
A counselor can help create a safe space for your feelings and thoughts to be articulated in a way that can really do some good for your relationship. Hi, I'm Lisa Birnbach for howdini. A lot of research out there shows that your sex drive and your sex life can be improved by really taking care of yourself. That's especially true if there's a new baby in your home, or even a not-so-new baby. Absolutely, and jealous is a strong word, but it does come into play. Well, I don't think anyone feels sexy when they're really, really run down, and that is something I really often tease out in a session. We got answers from couples therapist Rachel Sussman. When a woman is nursing her baby, do men have reactions to that of a sexual nature? You're absolutely right, and I work with a lot of young couples whose marriage seems to go a little bit off-kilter during a pregnancy and after the birth of a first child or a second child or a fourth or a fifth. It's a complicated problem, and compromise is really so important in every relationship-- compromise, and really having an open forum for discussion. How do you make it so that the baby is not the interceptor, but you're a family and mom and dad are still sexual creatures? And this is a time where couples really can run into problems. So sometimes the work I need to do is reintroducing that back into the couple and having the man remember and think about his wife as a sexual being. When it comes to sex, a lot of us have secret fantasies. The key is to make it fun and make sure the evening culminates with having sex. Well, what do you recommend that they do? Or, begins with having sex! Okay, but you may say, "Tonight isn't the right time, darling, but I can't wait," and then your husband might remind you that last night wasn't the right time either, and the night before that wasn't the right time. Sometimes figuring out how to bring the father more into the equation could really solve the problem. Talk about your fantasies with your partner. So how do you rekindle your sex life after a baby? For some couples it will come naturally, but for other couples it just feels a little bit uncomfortable and awkward. Would you be open to hearing my idea? Can the father actually get jealous of the infant? What's a woman to do? Communication is the key to reviving your sex life.
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