So unless you're talking about a small subset of his friends—only old friends that once had benefits—do not out your boyfriend as a boot fetishist to all his friends with size So long as he's good at his job and his secret perving is undetectable—no bulges, no heavy breathing, no creepy comments—no harm done. His feet aren't an uncommon size And if he goes home and jacks off about all the sexy, sexy feet he saw and, yes, handled during his shift, he's not hurting anyone or doing anything unethical. On the Lovecast, a sex toy expert's husband's favorite sex toy:
He refuses to discuss this issue, even as I lose sleep over it. Thanks for sharing, and be sure to send me a photo of the wedding party for my records. Or after she's developed a more intimate rapport with them? Of course, it's just an elaborate role-playing game—but is it wrong to be using these people as pawns in our game without their knowledge and consent? And what turns you on about your girlfriend sleeping with other people—and how you and your girlfriend talk to each other about it—is no one's business but yours. Before she sleeps with them even once? The secret perving you're doing—the girlfriend has to beg for your permission to fuck other people and report back to you afterward—is small and it's a bank shot. It's important to note, however, that the foot fetishist salesclerk's perceptions aren't the ones that matter. My bi girlfriend and I are getting married in a month. He's not really "out"about his kink. They aren't in contact in any way, so I don't have any worries there, but I think making photos of him with someone else available to his friends and family—and now my friends, too, as many are now following him—is incredibly disrespectful. Tweet Joe Newton I've been enjoying consensual nonmonogamy for the past two years, in part thanks to your column and podcast. I think it would be way better than going to a strip club or a drag show. I "allow" her to fuck other men and women, and she delights in asking my permission and recounting the details of her other trysts to me. His size also happens to be my size—and I'm half convinced he wouldn't have proposed if we didn't have the same size feet and I couldn't wear his boots. There are things we have a right to ask the people with whom we have casual sex—like whether they're practicing ethical nonmonogamy, if they have an STI, what kind of birth control they're using, whether they're on PrEP, etc. My boyfriend of one year has refused to delete photos from his Instagram account that show him with his ex-girlfriend. But he needs to be involved in determining where, when, how, and with whom he'd like to make this fantasy a reality. And if he goes home and jacks off about all the sexy, sexy feet he saw and, yes, handled during his shift, he's not hurting anyone or doing anything unethical. So long as he's good at his job and his secret perving is undetectable—no bulges, no heavy breathing, no creepy comments—no harm done. It would be all guys with the same size feet as us, and everyone will be wearing different pairs of boots from his collection. Zooming out for a second: We're in a cuckold relationship—she sleeps with other men and women, while I am completely monogamous to her—and "my" best man is one of her regular male sex partners and her maid of honor is one her girlfriends with benefits. My go-to example of PSP is the foot fetishist who works in a shoe store. If so, when should she tell them? I've tried calmly discussing this with him, I've tried crying, I've tried screaming my head off—nothing works.
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