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Authorities previously set a tentative deadline of Friday for finding anyone trapped under ruined buildings, although chances of pulling survivors alive from the rubble at such a late stage are almost zero. Latest toll on Sulawesi quake-tsunami disaster, as of October 5. In our generation those who struggle with homosexuality have the option of wrapping themselves in the gay liberation narrative. I would also have to relinquish and mourn relationships that never would heal, and find others to love and trust. Change After the struggle to see the truth, comes the struggle to act on that truth. The healing path for men struggling with these attractions focuses on the underlying causes. I found a positive, well-rounded male ideal within Judaism that sees manliness not just in sexual conquest or sports prowess, but in wisdom, loyalty and other virtues.

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And from that new position, new insights could be seen. Facing the Truth To solve a problem you must admit it exists. I found a positive male ideal within Judaism that sees manliness in wisdom and loyalty. Authorities previously set a tentative deadline of Friday for finding anyone trapped under ruined buildings, although chances of pulling survivors alive from the rubble at such a late stage are almost zero. My Struggle So the first step in teshuva is to see clearly that an error has been made. I discovered that return and repair are not just possible, they are what I am here to do. From the first kink of self-serving untruth, you can, like a snail, build a crooked little world of your own. Our relationship with God is in many ways built upon our relationships with our parents. I found a positive, well-rounded male ideal within Judaism that sees manliness not just in sexual conquest or sports prowess, but in wisdom, loyalty and other virtues. And in a pattern typical of this healing path, I found that feeling better about myself as a man led to healthy, normal heterosexual attractions. Just like people whose fantasy defenses were threatened by my own observations were shouting me down, telling me to disbelieve my own senses and feelings. I have found many fathers and brothers, and this has been a primary healing experience for me. The adults were vaguely embarrassed at the intensity with which I pursued him; eventually they pulled me away to go to bed. The healing path for men struggling with these attractions focuses on the underlying causes. I started digging for real facts. As I took counsel with friends in both the gay and Torah worlds, a paradox emerged: What if the sense of being at fault, inadequate, is not the aberration but the norm? I still fear being rejected, shown up, or shamed by God. But it's a false identity. The relationships I'd had with older men were not healthy mentoring. As I saw up close, brave statements do not end the compulsive search for masculinity. Within the Jewish community, I have married, raised a family, and become, I hope, a good father. Indonesia was initially reluctant to accept outside help, insisting its own military could handle the response, but as the scale of the devastation became clear President Joko Widodo agreed to allow in foreign aid. They allowed me to express my deepest feelings for the first time in a loving, accepting circle of men, and referred me to counseling professionals who were knowledgeable about homosexuality and Judaism, and shared my therapeutic goals. I didn't have to "change" anything since the sexual attraction I felt to other men was not my true nature. Similarly, intense work with counselors to gain understanding was followed by work to translate those new insights into habits of living. Exploitation by mutual agreement was not love.

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