But you have to own your behaviour, too. When children are born it can really trap mothers, but I do think you need to look at how you may be trapping yourself. Neither will my other correspondent ever know for sure what her boyfriend felt for his ex or what went on in their relationship. I blew up of course. He said it was for work, but I found out later that he was on a shoot. Am I being unreasonable? We have had some bad arguments about it. Build your own life — do you have other friends and family?
The last shoot he went on he had to cut short and come back because our child was ill and I was getting ill myself. Our marriage has not been on solid ground for a while because of his love of alcohol, though things have improved a bit on that front. Why should I care about all this, you may ask. He even invited his mother to stay with us she needs a lot of attention when our baby was only a few months old — and then he went back to the UK, leaving me to look after a very young baby and his mother. You have had a happy marriage and that makes you a lucky man. The solution is not to judge or dwell on what preceded you but to accept your wife for the woman she is now, not the experiences that shaped her along the way. I contacted Anjula Mutanda bacp. We have had some bad arguments about it. When children are born it can really trap mothers, but I do think you need to look at how you may be trapping yourself. But he said that we looked like a picture of calm when he got back, after spending money changing flights, etc. He is taking me for granted. Annalisa regrets she cannot enter into personal correspondence. This is in no way to blame you for his behaviour; he has to take responsibility for that. He is very good at making me feel like it is all in my head, and that mothers all over the world cope better than I do. A mutual friend joked that she probably spent more time in hotel rooms than in her own bedroom when she was younger. This enables him to continue his emotionally controlling behaviour. If you have a dilemma, send a brief email to mariella. He said it was for work, but I found out later that he was on a shoot. Build your own life — do you have other friends and family? But you have to own your behaviour, too. If only life were so simple that A led to B and then to C, though that would be pretty dull. The human heart is an ever-expanding organ, and its ability to stretch and grow to encompass each new relationship is one of the miracles of life. Neither will my other correspondent ever know for sure what her boyfriend felt for his ex or what went on in their relationship. Your coping mechanism seems to be to support him. A relationship as a compromise or half-formed thing is anathema to most young people, who view the emotional world as a place of emphatic action ruled by prevailing passions far stronger than empathy or irrationality. My husband seems to think that I am unreasonable and crazy, and I think that he is being terribly selfish and a bully. I should have left him then.
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