The passive aggressive spouse is not able to be open and honest. I've relied on masturbation, and didn't mind it at all. You really don't fight to often, and neither of you critisize each other much, though it seems that your partner rarely compliments you, acknowledges your accomplishments or supports you emotionally, even if you've done all of the above for them. When you ask why your partner rarely intiates physical intimacy with you, they use such excuses as "You were busy", "You're always busy", "I didn't want to wake you", "It was too early in the morning", "You looked so comfortable" or somthing similar. Whether she's withholding sex as a conscious way to manipulate her man or as a self-protective measure, the underlying reason is the same: You're partner probably has it.
You can try confronting them about their behavior. If you're partner truly is passive-aggressive, even just a little bit, then the likelihood that they even truly realize that the problem you see is there, is high. When you try to initiate any non-physical or physical intimacy, you are met with such excuses as "I'm tried", "I'm stressed out", "I don't feel good", "I have to be up early" or something similar. If this scenario is remotely familiar, then there is really no need for me to continue the story. If there may be a medical reason for her behavior, offer to set an appointment to get treatment. In some cases, the abuser has found themselves in a situation where they aren't getting a reasonable amount of influence over the problem, while in others, no amount of influence is enough! The sex-deficient partner experiences this bedroom behavior as an ongoing rejection, not all that different from the way the withholder may have been feeling for days, months, or years. Check out this factoid to find out if passive aggressive tendencies are ruining your marriage or relationship. You're partner probably has it. Regardless of how you may try to improve yourself or your own behaviors, nothing seems to help the lack of intimacy in your relationship. If you're in this situation, it might be helpful to know you are not alone. Every form of abuse stems from a need to exert control. Whether she's withholding sex as a conscious way to manipulate her man or as a self-protective measure, the underlying reason is the same: I've relied on masturbation, but wanted more intimacy. How does this affect the non-passive aggressive spouse? Though in order to get there, there are two things that need to happen: It really isn't a big deal. Your partner needs to admit that there is a large and important intimacy problem in the relationship, and that their behaviors are a big part of the problem. The rare occassions when you've gotten them to admit that you two have a serious lack of intimacy in the relationship, and that they need to be a part of the solution, they find a way to make the problem all yours, removing the blame and responsibility from themselves. Don't allow yourself to be treated unfairly, either. By that time, someone may have moved out, had an affair, become medically ill or resumed using an addictive substance. Sure, a few days without sex won't kill anyone. I've relied on masturbation, and didn't mind it at all. Only to find your hands pushed away and your partner seeming to quickly distance themselves from you physically. They are using sex as a weapon instead of using it as a way to connecting with their spouse and making their bond stronger. To recover a lackluster sex life, the denied partner should follow these steps: Now, before we can really focus on behaviors, it's important to understand what is triggering these events.
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The Male Cerebral/Covert Narcissist: Sex, Intimacy & Control
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