Some research reports suggest that LGBTQ youth seem more likely to feel depressed, express thoughts of wanting to die, and attempt suicide, because they face so many stressful experiences. All scientific research reported to date shows that sexual orientation is biological in nature, rather than a personal choice. Your child remains your child, and nothing will change that. Thus, in order to continue communicating well with your child, you will need to try to understand where they fall based on what they tell you, rather than what you think or want to believe. Having an LGBTQ child may involve more of a departure from parental expectations than you bargained for or than you ever thought you could deal with. Answer questions simply and directly. How can I be supportive? Try to remain patient with yourself and do not focus on predicting a negative future. Together, think of other trusted adults with whom they can talk.
Many reasons contribute to understanding why young people might feel reluctant or shy about talking with their parents about their sexual orientation. Together, think of other trusted adults with whom they can talk. Whether your child identifies as gay or straight, and whether this is hard for you or not, remember the thing you provide most as a parent: Give factual, honest, short, and simple answers. Consider ideas for how you can understand, acknowledge, and move forward in your own reactions to your child coming out. This means that by the time your child tells you, she quite likely has gone through a lot of stress and worry related to trying to understand her own identity, which, especially if it is during the teenage years, can prove quite a challenge. So many parents end up believing they have done something wrong for their child to turn against them, or against God, or against their community. Adults have a responsibility to help children understand and accept their evolving sexuality. All scientific research reported to date shows that sexual orientation is biological in nature, rather than a personal choice. Even if you think you can never get there with a gay or lesbian child, know in your heart that, if you try, you can. Having an LGBTQ child may involve more of a departure from parental expectations than you bargained for or than you ever thought you could deal with. This will prove less of an issue for young women, but for young men, same-sex attraction and sexual activity can carry a risk for HIV and AIDS. His sexuality does not define him. Reassure young people that they are normal— as are their questions and thoughts. The strongest emotional bond in the world forms between a parent and a child. They feel they have done something wrong for their child to turn out gay. You can find support from clergy, friends, counselors, colleagues, and support groups. First, encourage communication by reassuring your children that they can talk with you about anything. Discuss together the factors, including age, mutual consent, protection, contraceptive use, love, intimacy, etc. Keep lines of communication as open as possible. Some parents might prefer that their child simply not tell them if they believe they are gay or lesbian. Her choice of partner does not mean she has turned her back on you. At this moment in their lives, support from Mom and Dad becomes critically important. This process can mean different things for different youth. For generations parents just like you have struggled with acceptance of their gay children. Sexuality is not considered a choice nor something influenced by the environment.
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